Am I Finding Myself In This Rut?

And as you receive a new wave of confidence and hope, what else is expected to happen than something to knock you back down?

Everything, of course, does not revolve

around me, but I feel made a

mockery of, for everyone else's

amusement.

I miss the days, if they were ever there, when things just happened with ease. A mention of simpler times again, I suppose.

Wanting to break free again is ever present. I must move forward and onward, or else, I am only leaving myself the choice of turning back upon the old.

I was told, upon remembrance by an old classmate, that I always had my head on straight. And even now, as I struggle amid the water, gasping for air, how could that ever have been?

I am not helpless,

just frustrated is all.

The things that come easy are the things that I do not want. What is present are always the situations that are a result of confusion and misleading, just drawing me deeper down. And, as I work for what I deserve, those complications make themselves present and divert me once again.

The acceptance of something below my standards finds me tied down, wasting time, and letting myself drop further.