Let me be the one

For once in my life, let me be the one. I know you always say 'You're the one for me right now', but how long is that going to last? I know that I banished all certainty, but I feel as if you being around her will bring up old emotions and I cannot lose you. I know that you'd never cheat, but losing your heart would be far worse than you cheating with her. If she has that from you, or even just a spark, then I've lost the war, and tell me now. For the sake of you losing your soul mate and the easier breaking for me, just tell me. I cannot bear the gossip and denial of it all, if in the end, you're going to prove it true. I've lost you again. I may have you physically, but I'd give anything to have your love, your true, honest love. Not just be a placeholder until she breaks up with hers and you're awaiting her with open arms. That'd kill me. For once, I want someone that I'm not at fear will never really love me. I want emotional stability, for once, just once. So, leave me companionless.

I have let them all go to make myself better for you, because you deserve that, but I'm still trying. Don't let that be in vain. No, not again. I've faced a lot, but I'm willing to face it all.

Be completely aware of what you're leaving behind. I think that I am owed at least that.