It's a day I'm glad I survived

Drug poisoned eyes blinded shut by the drinks. I never grasped your true concept, nearly took it for granted. I wish for forgiveness, but have long been deemed forsaken. I regret my foul words, my sins and my grudges. I seek guidance from the only One who truly knows, but am shown away once, twice, thrice, at the gates.

As I shuffle away and fall back to the Earth, I turn and mumble, "This is why I never prayed."